A number of articles appearing on the Internet concern the question of how much discussion there should be with a spouse and children about money. One article concludes that relationships are improved when a couple’s financial life is stable and both of them know what’s going on. Still, many spouses know little about family finances, which can be a problem when the less-informed spouse is the survivor. On many occasions, I have asked surviving spouses if they know how much money they need to live on, and the answer is usually no. This can lead to unneeded anxiety and sometimes to financial decisions that are wrong.

A separate question is when and whether to tell children about the family wealth. Some feel that it’s none of their business, while others are concerned that the knowledge that a large inheritance is expected might sap the ambition and drive of children. Most people who write and speak about the subject believe that it’s better to be frank with children and let them know what they can expect, so they can get ready for the change in circumstances. This is sometimes called “preparing the heirs”. If it’s done right, it can avoid children making foolish financial decisions when they eventually inherit.